Behold . . . The Bronco
I bought a bike yesterday. It is called a “The Bronco All-Steel Bicycle.” It is several sizes too small, is geared way too high, and it has the least comfortable seat I have ever encountered. I love it. I should have bought one days ago.
Riding a bike in Mexico City is, shall we say, invigorating. But it actually is not as frightening as I thought it would be. Drivers are actually extremely courteous here.
Buying the bike was an adventure in itself. First of all, there are the prostitutes, which I have written about before. I don’t pretend to understand it, but for some reason in Mexico the bike shop district always coincides with the prostitute district. The women are literally inside the bike shops, standing next to the bicycles. They always politely move aside whenever it appears you are looking at something behind them.
But the big problem is that here in Mexico there are two kinds of bike shops, bike shops that repair bikes and bike shops that sell bikes. The bike shops that repair bikes tend to be staffed by very helpful and knowledgeable people who are making a living fixing bikes in a grungy garage that has no air compressor, possibly no electricity, and tools that were more likely than not fabricated on-site from scrap metal. It is quite astonishing, the hand-made wheel truing jigs and bike stands you see in these places. But they don´t sell bikes.
The bike shops that sell bikes, on the other hand, seem to be entirely staffed by imbeciles. I think it comes down to the old distinction between people who want to make things work and appreciate them, and people who just want the status of owning stuff. The bikes they sell are often only barely put together, and often put together incorrectly.
Anyway, after I had paid for my new bike the owner insisted on “fixing” it for me, and he came out from behind the counter brandishing, I am not kidding, a 15 inch crescent wrench. He started out by stripping the seat bolt, at which point I told him everything was great and I was ready to leave. But he waved me off and started tightening the axle nuts by attaching the wrench and kicking it. Luckily there are separate nuts to hold the fenders on to the axles, and he didn’t know enough to go ahead and strip the real axle nuts.
At this time I was physically pulling the bike from him but again he waved me off and went to work on the brakes. He was literally using a 15 inch crescent wrench on an 8mm nut.
Naturally, he immediately sheared it right off. I turned away, unable to watch any more.
After that he started in on the pedals, breaking both of them. Trying a new strategy, I told him I wanted to buy a tube.
“A tube?” he said.
“Yes,” I said, “A tube.”
He turned and grabbed a tube for a child’s bike. “You mean like this? he said.
“Yes,” I said, but I need one for my bike.
“Why do you need a tube?” he asked. He had me here because I did not know how to say that I wanted a spare in case of a flat in Spanish. I started muttering about wanting an “extra” in case my tire gets glass in it, but what came out was mostly nonsense and eventually I just repeated my request for a tube.
He turned and replaced the child’s bike tube and gave me a 26 inch tube. My bike has 28 inch wheels.
“No,” I said, I need a 28 inch tube, ” I said.
“This is a 28 inch tube,” he said.
“No, it is a 26 inch tube, it says so on the box.” I pointed the box.
“Why do you need a tube?” he said.
I gave up, let him finish stripping the remaining nuts on my bike, and left. As a result of his handiwork the seat won´t move, the front brake doesn´t work, the fenders and wheels will only come off with a torch and vice-grips, and I need new pedals.
But even so, riding around is a joy!
–Erik Ryberg
December 28th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Hey Erik! I’m enjoying the trip so much, vicariously. Thanks for taking us all along.
That is the same frame we made a Ghost Bike out of!
December 29th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Good to now. Should I purchase a bicycle in Mexico City, I will mount it and head for the door as I’m handing the salesperson the pesos. Perhaps he earns a “referral fee” from the mechanics?
January 8th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Those wheels are huge!